Alright, first things first; me and Sir Mix-A-Lot have one thing in common: we do like big butts. I like them mainly because I have one myself. And let’s face it, nothing beats a lady with curves, at least in my humble opinion. But not everyone shares that opinion. Especially in recent years, media coverage of women and their bodies has been dominated by gorgeous Victoria’s Secret-like models, showing off lingerie that can pretty much only be worn by a size 0-type of girls, who look like calories don’t affect them at all.
In spite of knowing better, I watch the annual show of Victoria’s Secret every year, sobbing at the screen, cursing the skinny women who look like they are on top of the world, usually accompanied by me crying out loud "why can’t I be skinny?!”, “they have thigh gaps and I don’t!” Or my personal favourite: “I’m never, ever eating again…" Only to be followed by me eating an entire bag of chips just 30 minutes after the show to ease the pain, whilst thinking “fuck it, I’ll just stay fat forever”… Not really a constructive cycle, right?
This is only to showcase the pressure our society has laid on women to be beautiful, skinny and smart. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not promoting an unhealthy lifestyle (despite me eating an entire bag of chips after the Victoria’s Secret show, wink wink), but I do promote a lifestyle which makes you, and only you, happy. Simple as that.
It’s only been recently that I started to accept my body and the fact that I, indeed, will never be a size 0 or skinny, but that’s not my lifegoal anymore. My lifegoal is to be acceptant of who I am, ALL of me, which is a lot (J) and just be happy.
The only thing I still struggle with is the fact that others tend to not let me be happy. It’s sad but true, not everyone is as acceptant to bigger girls (or men). Not so long ago, I went shopping with my sister, who is a small and skinny person. If we walk side by side it’s like the modern version of Laurel and Hardy but with breasts.
It makes me feel super self-conscious, like everybody is thinking “look at the fat one”. Unfortunately a girl who worked at this clothing-shop, made me believe this is exactly what everyone is thinking about me. (Small note; this shop is known for its really small sizes, so I tend not to shop there for my self-esteem, but my sister asked me with her giant puppy eyes, so I followed her in). I picked up this blouse - for my sister obviously, since this size would only fit my left boob (apparently my left boob is as big as my sister's upper body, so to speak) - and went to the dressing room to hand the blouse to my sister. On my way there the girl from the shop eyed me pettily and had this giant smirk on her face. I felt her watch me and could not help myself meeting her gaze. Without blinking, she said: "oh honey, I don’t think that will fit you, in fact I don’t think anything here will fit you, are you sure you’re in the right place?”
I was so shocked by her comment that I could only mutter “I’m sorry…?” and stare at her with my mouth open, probably confirming her idea of me being a dumb cow.
Luckily I have the best sister ever, who spoke for me when I couldn’t in that moment, and said something that still makes me blow up with pride like a pufferfish: “Look lady, I don’t know who you are or what you’re all about, but I do know this: nobody has the right to make anybody else feel less than nothing, no matter what their size. In fact I think it is discriminating that your shop only sells clothes for skinny people, and totally ignores the majority of women who aren’t this skinny at all. My sister deserves to be treated with respect, and I expect a sorry from you for every pound of her". Let’s just say it took a while for the girl to apologise.
Anyhow, that was the last time I cared about what others thought of me. The comment that girl made had shocked me so much, I had no more shock left in me. Plus the fact that my sister stood up for me made me realise it’s about time that I stood up for myself.
So the next time I’m eating a hamburger at MacDonald’s and people are looking at me like “she shouldn’t be eating that” I will just smile and rub my chubby belly for good luck. For I too deserve to be on top of the world, with angel wings AND love handles.